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Your struggles are real. Your problems are valid. But is it worth it to compare struggles from different generations?

This blog explores how we measure our own struggles against those of our parents, and how understanding their sacrifices can illuminate our path toward self-discovery and personal success.

Familial struggles and sacrifices

A fun little conversation with my parents made me realise the importance of my family story. My history. My parent’s challenges. And my own future.

As a 21 year-old who’s still trying to make some sense of my existence, purpose, and unique life situations, I have no idea what I want from life. Yesterday, what began as a casual fun conversation with my mother gave me some newfound perspective and uncanny wisdom on how I think about my own life and the life I would like to lead.

I jokingly told my mom of the difficulty of growing up in India and now living and studying in the US. I told her of how the mixed identity is sometimes hard to accept and how I envy her because she grew up in my hometown of Mumbai and still lives there to this day. All with a touch of melodrama because that’s just my style of humour.

My mom, after listening to me patiently, spoke about her and my dad’s various struggles growing up as children in poor households. She mentioned a lack of good nutrition, poor diets, tons of responsibilities including cooking, cleaning, and getting the groceries for their families, waking up at ungodly hours to catch the school bus, and very little time left in the day to actually study and learn let alone play and make friends with other kids her age. This meant that they didn’t get to experience the childhood that should set a child up for better outcomes in the future. But they still somehow succeeded.

My mother got her Chartered Accountancy degree and worked for L&T until she eventually switched from the corporate life to starting her own NGO to help underprivileged children. My father also got the CA certification and worked in several different companies as their finance head and now owns and runs his own equipment leasing company that he founded with his buddies. Life has worked out fairly well for both of them and they’re amazing parents to me and my brother.

Personal struggles and realisations

The success stories of my parents inspire me and have given me ideas for the potential paths I can pursue in my own life. It’s made me learn to reach for the stars.

But the truth is sometimes I’m afraid.

Am I living a life that is worthy of their sacrifices?

Deep. I know. But it’s been on my mind for a while and my recent conversation certainly made me want to explore this further to better understand myself and maybe help you on your path to self-discovery in this world.

My own childhood has been a mix of playing a bunch of sports such as cricket, swimming, soccer, and table tennis, being really good at studying, and entering college, which has so far been a blur of parties, late night studying, and frantically applying for internships for the summer. Life has been pretty boring of late and perhaps this has made me question my own purpose.

What is my struggle going to be? What am I going to stand for? What stories will I tell my own kids on the life I built for myself and the struggles and challenges I encountered that have made me the man I am today?

Welp. These questions are hard to answer, aren’t they?

Embracing your own path

After some reflection, I’ve realised that I am fine with not struggling as much as my parents. And there is absolutely no need for me to feel the intense pressure of living up to their level of struggle or success. Mind you, this is not coming from a place of pompousness or oblivion to everything they’ve been through. I still desire success and building a life that I can be proud of. But this comes from a place of knowing that they struggled so that I could live a better life and make my own choices and mistakes to discover and define success for myself. This is a wonderful epiphany for me because it gives me the wings I need to fly and makes me believe in my own strengths.

Having a loving mother and father who have devoted their entire lives to ensuring you and your brother are brought up in a happy and comfortable environment to grow into whoever you choose to be is invaluable beyond words. Armed with self-belief, my own personal struggles of identity, loneliness, and imposter syndrome seem to shrink because this path of studying abroad and working in the US is a path that I chose for myself. No one shoved it down my throat. No one begged and pleaded for me to leave India and start a life in a brand new country thousands of miles away from home.

I made the choice for my own future and this will be my struggle and my opportunity to improve my life.

Thus, for now, I will leave my thoughts on legacy, struggles, and success alone. It doesn’t matter who struggled more, succeeded more, or failed more. All that matters is the opportunities you are given and whether or not you make the most of them. My parents made the most of every opportunity that came their way, and now I’m excited for all opportunities that will come my way.

Hope this helps you somewhere in your own journey.